Out Here Tryna Survive
This podcast is a trauma-informed, hope-oriented, safe space. It is a warm hug of solidarity for Black women 35+. It is a celebration of our resilience thus far & our determination to not only survive but THRIVE.
Join me, Grace Sandra, a Mama, author, advocate/activist, storyteller, for some good ole self-love shenanigans.
We are braver than we believe✨
Out Here Tryna Survive
Ep 19: What we can learn from The Duchess of Sussex
When you strip away the noise surrounding Meghan Markle's Netflix show "With Love Megan," what emerges is a powerful narrative about a woman reclaiming her identity after trauma. Before becoming a royal, Meghan had a lifestyle blog and philanthropic pursuits that she was forced to abandon. Now, freed from those constraints, she's returned to her authentic creative self—and it's beautiful to witness.
The vitriol directed at Meghan reveals something troubling about how society responds to Black women who refuse to stay in their "assigned" places. The cooking show, with its whimsical edible flowers and casual conversations, represents more than just lifestyle content—it's a declaration that she survived the racist attacks of British tabloids and emerged with her joy intact.
As someone who understands aspects of Meghan's experience as a light-skinned biracial woman, I see the subtle racism beneath complaints about "unrelatability." Yes, her Montecito garden and royal connections aren't everyday reality for most of us, but rejecting content solely because a Black woman dares to occupy traditionally white spaces says more about the critics than the content itself.
What we can learn from Meghan is resilience, authenticity, and the courage to define yourself rather than letting others define you. When she says "I'm gonna do it my way," it's a lesson for all of us struggling under expectations that dim our light. Her journey reminds us to rediscover what brings us joy and pursue it relentlessly, regardless of criticism.
Don't let haters determine your path. Whether you're preparing elaborate meals with edible flowers or pursuing other creative passions, the act of living authentically despite opposition is revolutionary. What would your life look like if you followed Meghan's example and refused to let others dictate your worth?
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queasy and exhausting. New frontiers and unrelatability. A lifestyle show that smug, syrupy endurance watch that you would rather fry your eyeballs out than sit through, etc. Etc. Etc. Those are some of the reviews for With Love Megan.
Speaker 1:I read some other stuff on TikTok yesterday. I can't even find it, but it was just people being people. We know how the internet is in general, but some of the stuff that people were saying it's like you literally have nothing that you're actually giving. You just don't like her. You don't like her because she's Black. Like, please just acknowledge it. You're just racist. I hate to see it. I hate to see it. I literally hate to see it. I hate to see it. I literally hate to see it.
Speaker 1:Start this episode by saying I do think there are things we can learn from Megan and also I kind of relate to Megan in a few ways. You know there's a lot of ways I can't relate to Megan, as we all know, but like there are some ways that I kind of do, and one of them is we are both light skin, biracial, conventionally pretty women and some of the ways that she's been attacked in the press and the media over this whole span of whatever ever since became Meghan Markle, became a household name. Some of the ways that she has experienced racism has been very similar to some of the ways that I've experienced racism as a light skin, conventionally pretty woman of color. Now it's that's really where all of it ends, because beyond that, me and her have had very different lives. She has a black mother and a white father. I had a white Italian mother and a black father and she grew up in California. I grew up in Detroit. I'm really not even honestly trying to compare myself to her all that much. I'm just saying like there are ways that I've experienced racism that have felt oddly similar and so, as soon as she got in the news, started dating Harry and it became a big thing. I was just like ain't this about a bitch? Ain't this about a bitch?
Speaker 1:Now, first, before we start this episode, let me tell y'all that, in the spirit of Megan, I'm wearing a button down jean shirt, which I never wear. This is not my style. I'm wearing nude nails and, you know, ever so whimsical jewelry, just in the spirit of channeling Megan. I don't even usually wear my hair straight, but I just started wearing it. By the way, this is not an 18 inch bust down y'all. This is my real hair. Okay, this is my real hair, out here in these streets, just thriving and long, and I did this myself to the cut, the color, the straightening, the curls, y'all. How did I get so talented? I'm'm just kidding. The truth is like I usually wear my hair natural and it's big and it's curly and I do a lot of um, protective styles. But I just thought, you know, I'm gonna continue to channel Megan today with the look even you know. You know she always the sister girl always got her cuffs rolled up. So I have my cuffs rolled up. By the way, if you're, if you're not, if you're just listening to this, you can see, but on the cover I'm sure you can see my shirt. Anyway, that's my little homage to Megan before we get going. So we're going to talk about With Love Megan and I think, what there is to learn from her, because I think there are things, lots of things to learn, even from our parasocial relationship with her.
Speaker 1:This past week I watched With Love Megan on Netflix, which is her kind of, you know, cooking lifestyle show. You know, I thought it was very whimsical and very lighthearted and very cute. I thought it was sweet. I was very inspired by the kind of joy that it's very obvious that she gets from cooking for other people. I think she even says in the show at one point like this is my love language cooking for other people, seeing them happy, seeing them love my food and enjoy my food, which I think is just the gift of hospitality. It's very obvious that she has the gift of hospitality and as someone who does not have that gift it's not innate in me, but I have one of my very best friends has the gift of hospitality and I've seen up close and personal how much those people they love loving you with their food. They love it and they love watching you love it and I could see that in her and I loved that about the show.
Speaker 1:I love that it came out that she has just a childlike joy to the kind of things that she was doing, like getting the honey from the bees and putting the little flowers on the. Everything really, the donuts and the eggs and everything had an edible flower on it which I hadn't even heard of, and just like the homemaking aspect of it. I'm someone who did not grow up with a mom who celebrated that in any way or taught me anything about homemaking. I don't. I still don't really know a lot about homemaking. I kind of aspire to, but it feels still really big and overwhelming to me. I just I learned a lot about just just from watching the show. I feel like I learned a lot. Actually, I made her one pot pasta the second day after I watched the first episode where she makes it, and it was so good. I added bacon in mine, but it was still so so good. And my son, who usually doesn't like pasta, was just like oh, this is actually. This is actually pretty damn good.
Speaker 1:To address some of the complaints that people have about its unrelatability Okay, y'all, here's the thing. Is her lifestyle out of touch for most of us, for 98% of the of the country? Yeah, it is, it's out of touch. You know she's got a whole garden, a whole and not just a garden. But like, everything that you could ever grow it seems like on the planet is in that garden. That was the thing I was just like do you really like have access to every single food group growing in your backyard, like all year? Like, I know it was a set, I know the house was a set, but I wasn't sure if, like, the garden, was her garden at her house or if it was part of the set, but either way, yeah, that's out of touch.
Speaker 1:Even honestly, just being a stay at home mom and being home and available and accessible to your kids all day and not having to go to work is out of touch for most of us. I think being able to make hundreds of millions of dollars just exploring your creativity is out of touch. Yes, I can acknowledge that, because I believe that her and Harry signed $100 million deal to produce lots of different shows for Netflix, including the first one, harry and Meghan, the documentary, and then this, this one, and then, I think, the podcast. I don't actually I don't know if that's part of it, but either way, the whole thing is a lifestyle that a lot of us aren't privy to. But I think for those of us who aren't haters and assholes, we can acknowledge yeah, that's not my life and I can still be happy for her that she's living that life and I can still learn from her and I can still enjoy the whole experience of getting to watch it.
Speaker 1:It also feels a lot sweeter to me to be able to watch it knowing that she just came out of the most racist empire that's ever existed in known history to man. Literally she came out of the, the, the british royal family that is part of colonizing the entire planet literally the most damaging empire the world has ever seen. And y'all gonna tell me it's not cool for her to sit up and make some donuts and sprinkles and cinnamon rolls and enjoy herself after she just escaped the fuckery that is the British royal family Like I'm just happy that she's not in an environment where everything is so racist and so extreme. They felt like they had to flee back to America, leaving their royal duties and all that other stuff. That's so ingrained that I don't really still fully understand as an American. But they left all of that because it was so bad. The racism was so acute and we can see from the Harry and Meghan documentary it was the most like severe kind of racism, the most kidnapping threats, the most death threats, the most anything that some of the you know, some of the people in the Royal Guard or whatever the law enforcement, whatever they got over there said it was the worst they had ever seen. And that includes Princess Diana, who was literally like unalived by all of the madness surrounding the press. And she left that and is now making heart shaped pancakes for her children.
Speaker 1:Like I'm happy for her. Who would not be happy for someone to leave trauma and then find their way creatively and make money doing it? Hell, yeah, I also feel like as a mom, I can just celebrate that she's a creative stay-at-home mom living her best life with her kids, even if it just stopped there, and also that that's possible in 2025, when everything else is going to hell in a handbasket. Like I'm happy that there are people out there who get to have an existence, particularly a black woman that many other black women have not been privy to before. And I know that the reason why a that white women can't stand her is because they can't be her. They will never be here. They'll never be married to their prince. They'll never be married to a white, redheaded prince who governs. I know it's not governed, but you know. You know I don't understand royal family dynamics, but who's an important prince? Okay, across the sea. They know they'll never be here and they're really just jealous, bitter, hating ass. Karens. It's insane.
Speaker 1:After I watched the documentary and saw like the kind of trauma that she was experiencing, particularly race related trauma. I was. It was kind of shocking. I'm so glad they left and it's very sad to me that I've seen a lot of people label her as a narcissist for wanting to leave that kind, for wanting to leave the royal family. For you know what they say forcing Harry to leave it's that's not what a narcissist does. Yeah, people are very confused about that, but I think the first thing we can learn from her is a powerful level of resilience. And here's the thing, here's the thing which I think is really important. Not just resilience, but being firmly who you are and kind of getting your man, getting your bag, getting who you are and still moving forward despite the haters is kind of a flex.
Speaker 1:One of the things that Megan talked about, that she got hated on so much, was that statement that she made about how that people never brought up race as much as when she, you know, started dating Harry and joined the real family, moved, moved in all that shit. That is one way I really have related to her and have felt like I understand you. I understand you Because, as a light-skinned black person, as a biracial person we're both biracial a lot of times this really weird dynamic will happen where you know I'm just light enough. You can look at me and see I'm a sugar cookie. I'm light, okay, I'm light skinned. And growing up I realized that for some reason, when I will be around white people, just in all white spaces, they would talk badly about black people.
Speaker 1:And number one, just just saying it, just outright saying stuff that was just like this, is insane that you're saying this in front of me. I, when I was younger, I didn't understand it and it the first time it ever happened was my stepdad and my stepdad's mom what am I saying? My stepdad's wife. And when I say stepdad, this was my older siblings, their dad. For a little while he was like, yeah, you can hang out with me, and maybe he was trying to give my mom a break, so him and my mom weren't together. I called him Daddy Dwayne.
Speaker 1:So Daddy Dwayne and his wife Sherry were in the car. I'm just give you a little example, but this happened to me all the time, but it was one of the ones I remember so vividly and we were in the car and we were leaving. Oh, I forgot the name of the mall. I forgot the name of the mall. It was one of the malls that mostly white people used to go to. And Sherry said something like yeah, it's such a shame that all these black people are coming to the mall here now. And Daddy Dwayne said something like yeah, they used to never come here and now they're here all the time. And Sherry is just like, oh, what a shame, what a shame. Now I'm in the backseat of the car listening to them. It's not like they were trying to hide the conversation. It's not like it was a big car and it was only the three of us and the music wasn't on.
Speaker 1:That I remember, and I just remember being like what the fuck, bro? And I was pretty young. I don't remember how old I was at all, but it had to be in the like seven, eight, nine range. So I was pretty young and just feeling like I am black. Why would you say that in front of me? I'm so confused. But I was young enough and confused enough. I didn't say anything, I didn't address it at all.
Speaker 1:And then, for me, my mom sent me to lots of white spaces. She was my mom, who was white, was trying to keep me out of black spaces. I almost felt like my mom was trying to protect me from black spaces and black people as often as possible. When we shopped, we went to the white stores, the grocery stores, you know, the post office. When we left my street, we was turning right onto Six Mile and headed towards Redford and the suburbs, and we were never turning left and headed towards the, the city of Detroit. Okay, because my mom was like we're gonna get the, I'm gonna get you out of here. If we got to live here, I'm gonna get you out of here. So she was sending me to a white church. I was going to a, you know, a white little youth group called Awanas, and then she was putting me in white schools. My mom was like you little youth group called Awanas, and then she was putting me in white schools. My mom was like you're not going to hear from black people. If it's up to me, you're not going to hear from these black people.
Speaker 1:And the more I was around these white people, the more they just kept talking about stuff about black people or they'd say something that it was real sick and demented to. They would say something bad about black people and then they'd be like you understand, don't you Grace? Like they wanted me to join in on bullying other black people and I was just always like what is happening here. So from from, I feel like from a fairly young age, I had to, maybe unlike Megan, because she grew up in California Detroit is very, very racially segregated, so there was just very rarely spaces where there was a lot of us in every room, not like where I live now, which is odd, but where I live now like it's more integrated.
Speaker 1:But Detroit is highly segregated, highly segregated as hell. So when I was growing up, it was either me and all white people or me and all black people in rooms and or wherever I was. And so I had to decide pretty young, and I decided pretty young like these white people are crazy, like y'all are, just, y'all are horrible. It was just pretty obvious. So I put my, drew my line in the sand pretty young, but it still kept happening the more I was in these white environments and um, and it was just like when I was around black people growing up in Detroit, somebody would say here and they're like well, what are you?
Speaker 1:Well, what is you, you know?
Speaker 1:And I would be like I'm mixed. And then I, and then at some point I just started saying I'm black. I didn't even, I didn't even fuck with the I'm mixed, because it felt like then they were going to ask more questions and I just didn't always want to answer because it was just kind of like I'm really over this conversation, like I've had this conversation like 400 times now, even though I know you're curious. So sometimes I just be like I'm black, which is I say now I don't even go into it now, not even because I don't feel like it's just like I don't have Italian identity. I could, I could lie, I could try to pretend I don't have no identity in being a white woman at all. So I'm black, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So when I was around all black people it just didn't seem like they, like race was talked about very much. It was a few questions here or there, the initial what are you? And then it was like kind of over with, and then we just went on to doing what we were doing and it just didn't get brought up. So I can kind of understand from Megan's point of view, like growing up where she grew up in LA, that people just some people, accepted her or just didn't talk about it a lot. And then all of a sudden you go to this whole new environment with all white people and it's like all they can talk about. And I relate to that from going to white schools and stuff. When it just got brought up so much. It just got brought up so much. Every little thing like, oh you know, let me touch your hair, you just it starts to feel like you're a circus act. It's a really bizarre feeling and I felt it on a level that is, you know, two percent of what she felt being thrown into the national, like global spotlight. So I wasn't too mad at her, even though her identity is not as black as mine.
Speaker 1:But we've all had different, I mean mixed kids. Yeah, if it's one thing I've learned about mixed kids all over America, we all have really wildly different experiences. I don't feel like any of us mixed kids have enough of a joint experience to be able to say like, oh yeah, that's what it is. Yep, that's what it's like to be grew up mixed in America. It's all really, really different. As an aside, this one time when I was working with college students I did, I led a seminar for mixed race kids who had black and something else at a big conference and there was like 40 students from all over the country who came to the seminar. All of them at least had black, and then everything else. So everybody looked really wildly different and it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. We ended up having like a four hour discussion of what their experience was being raised mixed in America and I. It was very eye opening for me because all of us were very different.
Speaker 1:But there was this one woman in particular who was very beautiful, very dark skinned woman and she was crying and she looked at me and she was like I feel like you're blacker than me, like she was like I never grew up in black spaces, I never went to, had, you know, lived in a black neighborhood. She was like I just don't feel black at all. I was just looking at her like, well, I don't feel white at all, even though I'm like light skin could probably I mean maybe, I don't know, I'm like light skin, could probably pay. I mean I maybe I don't know I could try to pass. I've never have, but I could probably pass and our experiences were so wildly different.
Speaker 1:And then when I read Barack Obama's book Dream of my Father, dreams for my Father, whatever it's called I, that was the best memoir. Okay, I'm on a tangent, but y'all get my point. Like our experiences are so wildly different and I just think, as a biracial woman who has been judged in the past for how I view my blackness, just you know, just the regular shmegular shit that black people get, like we just tend to get complaints from everybody about everything and I feel, like the complaints that she was getting, I was like, oh, it's because she's light skin and people want to quantify and qualify her experience and you really can't, because everybody's is really different, and even me and her, like I think, if we were to sit down and have a conversation which, megan, I would love if you're open to I think if me and her had an unmiked, unfilmed conversation about what it's like to be mixed in America as light skin, conventionally pretty women, I really think our experience would be so vastly different Not talking about when she was famous before, was famous before any of that I think our experience would be really, really different. And it's just so easy for people to say like, oh, so, because she said this, it means this, and it's like no, she just said what she said. Like all of a sudden she's marrying this white dude who's a literal freaking prince. His mom was the most, maybe one of the most popular women who's ever lived, with the most recognizable face who's ever lived and all of a sudden she's on a global platform and she's a light-skinned, pretty black girl. Like, of course, people are gonna drag her about.
Speaker 1:Everything she says it has to do with race. I I mean some of the stuff that I say about race and race over the years. The only reason I haven't got dragged is just because I'm not on any sort of big scale Period. I think if more people were listening, I would get dragged somehow about something I said and also y'all, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. If she talked about race more or her experience being black in america, I think a lot of black people would come for her. Like really, um, about what that? About her talking about it too much? White people will come for her. Oh my god, she's playing the race card. I think she's. It does. She's damned as she do, damned as she don't. No matter what about this whole race issue.
Speaker 1:But either way, I do feel like what I heard in the documentary is that was hella traumatic. That was hella traumatic and I really think if they had stayed, like while other people think that was very narcissistic of her to drag Harry out of whatever Harry has said in interviews in the past, by the way, that he never liked being in England, that he wanted to leave Harry out of whatever Harry has said in interviews in the past, by the way, that he never liked being in England, that he wanted to leave. Harry was ready to get the hell out. Harry knows they killed his mama and he was ready to go. And then he's got to watch his wife being treated appallingly and y'all expected them to stay. And then the royal family never said hey, I'm sorry you're enduring this kind of abuse. The kids are comparing your children to monkeys and y'all expected them to stay. It's just kind of wild to me. But anyway, let's just say they had stayed.
Speaker 1:I really think it would have unalived her. I really think the experience would have unalived her or someone else would have unalived her. So, yeah, the fact that they got the hell out of the hell out of Dodge and created a new life for themselves, and what I saw in with love Megan, was her getting back to who she was before she met him, because don't forget y'all. Before she met him, she had the TIG and her whole lifestyle blog and she was into cooking and entertaining and fresh flowers and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She was. She was into all of that before she met him. So this is not out of left field, but some people who are uneducated seem to think it is. So I'm really glad that they decided to forge a new path for themselves and I'm really glad that she is living in her lane, living her best life. I also think it's really important for us to see black women just standing strong and just standing who in who they are, unapologetically. If this is what she loves to do, then let her cook. Let her cook figuratively and literally.
Speaker 1:Another thing meg was doing before she met harry was philanthropic work, and they talked about that in the documentary how. That's one of the things they bonded over, because you know, princess diana was all into philanthropic shit too. She was already like loudly, loudly advocating for gender equality and societal issues, just justice issues in general and she had to shut all that down when they got engaged and then got married. Because she wasn't allowed to. She had to shut down her lifestyle blog and her instagram and all of her philanthropic work had to become quieter. So it didn't look like she was liking the publicity, you know. But they bonded on some of that philanthropic shit. They bonded on her love of social justice and wanting to do all of that. So I think what's really beautiful about seeing this show for me was seeing her, not the I mean, I know there's no philanthropic part of it to cook for your friends and family, but seeing her doing what she loves to do.
Speaker 1:That is who she was when Harry met her and she. She said that in a recent interview. I forgot where I read it, but she basically said I think Harry, seeing me come alive again and have that spark in my eye has made him love me more. I forgot how she said it, but basically, like he's seeing how happy this all makes me and it makes him reminded of the woman he met. Forget her. And Harry started the Archwell Foundation which basically, like, helps deal with the problem of online harassment which shock, you know, is what she experienced and to give voice to people who feel very overlooked and very silenced, which I think is a really beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:Like it or not, this woman said I'm gonna do it my way. She said I'm gonna do it my way. She said I'm gonna do it my way and I don't care what y'all bitches think. I love that she defied all the traditional roles that the british royal family was trying to hammer down into her. I love that megan was like fuck them roles, fuck y'all rules and roles and all of that, fuck all y'all. And I love that she is basically essentially redefined what it means to be royal, like yeah, I'm the Duchess of Sussex bitch and also got a cooking show and a podcast, and I'm all here in Montecito, california, having a full ass garden, living my best life. Now what y'all got to say? Oh and, by the way, the show just got renewed for season two and I love this. I love it so much. I love it for all the haters. I just I love it.
Speaker 1:There was also something in the show she said at some point. I forgot who she was talking to, but one of the one of the last interviews, I think it was when she was talking with the woman who started Tatcha, which I also thought was very cool. But she said something like can you imagine where we're going to be in 10 years? And she was like oh, 10 years. Whatever it is, wherever it is, I have no idea, but it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1:And I really took from that that that was more of her as an entrepreneur, not so much as a royal and not even so much maybe as a wife or a mom, even though that's certainly part of it. But when she was like, oh, in 10 years, and you can just see her kind of brain calculating and I was thinking this is what she's made for, this is really what she wants to do, like it's obvious from everything she said, from the book, the documentary. You know, when you take all of it, like this woman is a creative and she's a leader and she, she wants, she, she doesn't want to be dimmed, she doesn't want to be dimmed and becoming Harry's wife could have dimmed her. Basically, like William and Kate, kate has been completely dimmed. We don't know nothing about her, about Kate, except for that she's William's wife and that she is has cancer, which I'm so sorry to hear, and hopefully she's okay. I don't wish any ill will on any human at all, except for Trump and Musk and Candace Owens, but other than those three I don't have no ill will for any human on this planet. But Kim has been. Who is she? What are her interests? We don't know.
Speaker 1:So what I love seeing about all of this, what I loved about with love Megan, was seeing a woman who's saying this is who I am and I'm gonna do what the fuck I want to do and I don't care. I don't care that y'all have racist shit to say, I don't care that you think I'm boring or cringy. Maybe Megan is a nerd. Maybe she I was really. When she had the sweater over her shoulders, I was like baby, what is you doing? Like I love her style. I love her style, except for the sweater over her shoulders. If you want to talk about unrelatable, that was unrelatable. Like who the hell is wearing their sweater over their shoulders? Like that anymore? Come on, megan. But other than that, like I love that she gave us a glimpse into a very light-hearted side of her. I love that you could see this, the twinkle in her eye when she would try something you know that she made and she loved it. I love that she gave us ideas, etc. Etc. I could go on with all the little cutesy stuff, but I loved it.
Speaker 1:I love that with love, megan is also creating a road, an inroad, in some way, a new path for black women in general. I think anytime that a black woman is paving the way with something like this kind of like Tabitha Brown did, like Tabitha Brown and all the ways that she has paved the way for other black women in her entrepreneurial pursuits, I think, with Love, megan does that for us as well, in a different way, because, again, her life is different than all of hers, all of ours. She is a royalist, that's still all there, but it still does not only pave the way, but I love that for me as a you know, as mother of a black daughter, can show her this and be like look at this black woman who looks like us. What she actually does look like us, like me and my daughter are both this light skin, we have the same kind of hair as Megan, et cetera and say look at this woman who literally looks like us, doing something like this on this scale and loving it and enjoying it and living in her soft life, luxury, black girl era, and it's a good thing, baby girl, it's a good thing. Also, we need to recognize there's power in her voice, for example, the Le Creuset, le Creuset, I didn't, I didn't.
Speaker 1:I'm so uncultured y'all. I'm such an uncultured swine. I didn't, I didn't. I'm so uncultured y'all. I'm such an uncultured swine. I didn't know anything about La Crusette. La Crusette, I didn't even know that. I didn't even never heard of the company before and actually when her and Mindy were talking about it, I thought they were talking about a literal dish. I thought there was a dish called La Crusette and then come to find out it's this whole big thing with pans, luxury, luxury pans. I before yesterday I didn't even know there was a thing as luxury pans. I just thought pans was pans, y'all I know. But anyway, they sold out on their website. They sold out on their website. That's, that's, that's the power of being an influencer. We have been influenced. Okay, they sold out. And also I saw yesterday I didn't write it down but one of the designers that she wore and talked about just had like a gazillion orders come in because of the show, because of the power of Megan's influence.
Speaker 1:Another reason I'm just really excited about a show like that is to continue to show especially racist old white women like y'all. We do not give a fuck about y'all. Hatefulness, y'all little petty ass, silly shit that y'all always go on and on about, we don't care. We understand that y'all are broken people and that you've been broken by adhering to a system that keeps black women underneath you for the sake of your own power and ego, that you have willingly participated in keeping black women beneath you. For all of your life you have sided with white male patriarchy and so now you have to get be a keyboard warrior and go off on Meghan Markle, meghan Duchess of Sussex, because of your own little frail ass insecurities. And we don't give a fuck. Keep, keep typing, keep freaking out. Keep freaking out because we know you're just literally insignificant, jealous losers. Yeah, it's kind of sad to see. We feel sorry for you. We feel sorry for you. We see how hateful and terrible you are on these internet streets and we feel sorry for you because you're cursed. You're cursed and we know that you will never have what Megan has beauty, money and the prince in her castle. Sorry bitches, sorry.
Speaker 1:I know when I look at just the random hate that she gets, which is in some ways kind of like I said before, like how I can relate, being a light-skinned black person, you get a different kind of hate than darker skinned black people get, which I've talked with a lot of my friends who are darker than me, and we have talked about the different kinds of racism. There is like, if it's one thing white people gonna do, they gonna be creative, then they bring different kinds of racism for different kind of environments and different kind of black people, mostly because you know they, they know how to use colorism and use it against us. But because of colorism you have different experiences with white people. And one thing that I can see, that's so obvious to me, is how white people, as a light skinned black person, how they will try to get away with a subtle, a subtle kind of racism. They will try to get away with it. But you can see that. You can see that it's obvious misogynoir.
Speaker 1:Misogynoir is the hatred not just of women but black women. It's a double whammy that black women have. We aren't just victims of misogyny, we're victims of misogyny plus racial hatred. That knocks us lower down the totem pole. It's not just someone driving by and yelling out bitch, it's the double pain of somebody driving by and yelling out bitch. It's a deeper pain. It's the knife being drugging and drugging, and drugging and drugging.
Speaker 1:And I think just looking at the reviews, like doing some research for this episode, looking at the reviews, looking at what people had to say and me just being like this is so obvious. They're trying to be subtle about their racism or they'll be like no, it's not about race, I just the show's unrelatable. The world is falling apart, oh my god. And she's talking about la cr like no, it's not about race, I just the show's unrelatable. The world is falling apart, oh my god. And she's talking about la crosse and it's like no bitch, I get it. I'm, I'm sorry. I can see it. I can see your race. I can see that this is about race. I can absolutely see and I know that because this is a world that I have had to learn to survive, survive you in. As a light-skinned black person, I've had to survive you, okay, so I can see it in the same way.
Speaker 1:Many, many, many, many, many, many millions and millions and millions of women was trying to warn the nation, the world, everybody, before Trump's first election. This man is dangerous, he's dangerous. This is before all sorts of stuff came out. This man is dangerous, like we can just feel it, because we've had to, we've had to learn how to survive in a world that prioritizes men and their safety and what they want, what they value. And so we know more than men about how to exist in a world full of men, and black people know more than white people about how to exist in a world full of men and black people know more than white people about how to exist in a world full of white people. So we know when white people is on a racist shit and maybe they don't even know, or they don't know how they're doing it, or they do know and they don't give a fuck. Either way, we know and it's obvious to me, like what Megan has experienced over and over and over it's just, they just hate her because she's a black woman who married the white prince.
Speaker 1:And just looking at all these comments to see how consumed they are with it, and again, I sometimes not not usually, but sometimes feel a little bad when you see someone consumed by hatred. Sometimes you, just, you do feel a little bad for them. Like, wow, it must suck to be you, it really must suck to be you, to be filled with that much disdain and hatred and don't even know why. Like damn, it must really suck to be a racist white person to have that much hate in your heart. So what I'm taking from With Love, megan, is girl, just live your best life. It's a reminder to me. I hope it's a reminder to all of y'all to really live your best life.
Speaker 1:And living your best life is not necessarily being rich, by the way, and necessarily marrying a prince of England. Living your best life really is figuring out who you are and what brings you joy and going and doing that thing. Going and doing that thing and enjoying the process and enjoying the, the, the evolution that you go on as you try to learn and push into that. And I think a lot of that honestly honestly is creativity. I think what a lot of. If you can look at a lot of rich people, what they do when they get time to just live their best life because they have money, they have parents supporting them, whatever. A lot of times people they go pursue creative shit, they go on a creative quest. That's what people do when they have time, because that's who we are, who we're made to be as humans, that's who God made us.
Speaker 1:But anyway, and I feel like what she has done is tried to figure out like how can I be as creative as possible. In the mundane. She says that over and over again the show like how can you just elevate something? You know, like just take something and just elevate it. You know she kept saying that. But I think you know, when I think about that, for me, like I'm a writer who hasn't written in a while, honestly, and I was kind of convicted about that this morning Again, I keep feeling really convicted, like Grace, why are you a writer who doesn't write? Why? But that's the reason why I make YouTube videos and why I do this podcast because it does, it does, it is a it does scratch a very particular creative itch in me and I'm also someone who is a speaker and I love to teach and train and entertain in some way. And I don't know how to do that yet, the best way. I'm still trying to figure that out. But I'm going to damn sure enjoy the process. I'm damn sure going to just be who I am, no matter what people say, no matter what the haters say about me. Fuck them, haters, like I'm gonna do me. So, yeah, I just hope this encourages you to do you. I hope this really, really encourages you.
Speaker 1:What we can learn from Megan is that there's so much resilience and strength in the black community, like black women are. We are just such a beautiful I hate to say I just I hate in some ways to say the word resilient and even more to say the word strong, because I really want to let the strong black woman trope die. But we are, though. We are really strong and I don't want us to have that. I don't want us to feel like we have to be strong, but at the same time, it's factual that we are and really amazing.
Speaker 1:And the fact that Megan went through the kind of torrential mental torture that she went through with the British press and just the whole thing with with very little protection, which, if you haven't watched the documentary Harry and Megan, you want to know what I'm talking about specifically. You should watch it. It's still up on Netflix and it was really good. It was really entertaining. You know the fact that she has again I've said this so many times when a person has gone through a lot of evil and they do not let that evil consume them, but rather they become a more healthy, more evolved person who continues to contribute to society in a beautiful way.
Speaker 1:That is a testimony. It's a testament to the beauty and resilience of black women and just in general, and that is something that I try to live by. I do not wish to be consumed in any way with the evil that was done to me, and so I'm always going to lean into how can I give back to the world in a way that makes sense to me. So, anyway, y'all, let me quit yapping. Thank you for watching today's episode. I appreciate you being here. You could be anywhere, but you're with me, so I appreciate it. If you haven't yet, please leave me a review on Apple podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to grow this podcast Again. This is my creative pursuit. I don't have $100 million deal from Netflix. I don't have no deal from nobody. So please support my podcast by leaving me a review on Apple. You know following and subscribing on YouTube.
Speaker 1:I'm also setting up a sub stack right now so I'll have some secret content for just podcast followers that you can join in. It's going to be only be $5 a month. It's going to be the surviving and thriving newsletter, because I don't want to just survive, you know, I want to also thrive, and it's going to cover some areas which I will get into more next week. But thank you so much for being here and I appreciate you so much. Don't forget you are a loved ass woman. You're a bomb ass woman, you're resilient ass woman and you are capable of creating the life that you deserve. Absolutely. That's what we gonna do. Despite all of the hell that is brewing around us right now, we can still focus on the little things in life that make us happy, like Megan said. So, like Megan would do, I'm gonna take some little fake um edible flowers and sprinkle it on this episode. Bye, y'all.
